So okay. I don't know. I feel like all the memories came rushing to mind and I have no other place to stack it all but on you, my dear blog and to all the people reading this post which I hope are non-existent.
I told this story over and over again. Or have I?
me
guy
friend
So yes, I had a teensy-weensy crush (and i mean like just "okay" crush, and only because my friends had their own set of crushes and -- I didn't). Anyway, the funny thing was we were on the same clique, or "barkada" in school. So we hung out a lot, and every joke went like, crush codename: Ted, "OMG! Kami naman gud ni Ted! [we're together already!]", or maybe even "Magpakasal man ta dira sa Cathedral, diba Ted?[We'll be wed at the church Cathedral, right Ted?]" and he would nod. I enjoyed spending more or less a week doing all these shenanigans. But then one day he tried to stop, and he wouldn't play along with the jokes.
It started with,
Kami naman ni Ted forever gud. [We'll be together forever with Ted.]
Di man gud![No.]
Hala Ted uy, ngano di man jud ka mu sabay? [Why won't you join in with all the jokes?]
Kay ang-ang beh, mahadlok man ko matagak. ['Cause I'm afraid to fall for you.]
ESTORYAHE OY!
Anyways, so yeah. One time, while we were busy with something (making this as discreet as I possibly can) this came along.
Oy girl, naibog najod ka ni Ted sa? [Hey, you're really crushing on Ted, huh?]
OMG WA OY! Kahibaw man gud ko nga friends rajod mi kutob ni Ted. Diba, Ted? [OMG NO! I know that we're only going to be just friends with Ted, right?]
*nods*
And yeah the next day came along and the weirdest thing happened because, the guy that I was "crushing on" wasn't the loud, fun, happy guy we all expected him to be. He seemed to be pretty down the dump. He said it was "nothing", so we just left him there.
The friend that was there with us during that something told me, OMG, tungod jud na gahapon girl! Feel nako ganahan sha nimu then imu ra gi break iyang heart [OMG, I have a feeling he's down because of you! Maybe he likes you and then you just broke his heart] But I didn't. I asked him a lot of times during the day, but he smiled away. I even tried to show an ADORABLE photo of us, just to let him smile for a brief moment.
But everything changed when he told me the girl he actually liked. Maybe because of all the romantic mushy things I've read on the internet, in books, watched in movies, heard in stories, dreamed in fantasies - I actually believed I'd be one of those girls. And all those cliche lines that go:
I can't tell you who I really like.
Why?
Because... I just can't.
Do I know her?
Yeah.
Are we close?
Yes, really.
*name a few girls*
Nope.
Who?
Just ~ someone you really really know.
Just tell me already.
Okay, it's you.
But then it went different. And maybe I expected the scenario because not to brag or anything but I've been in them. And it's really hard to reply to that. Hahaha.
It was heartbreaking the moment I knew. Especially since I was like the second person to know. Cause the first one was his bestfriend from highschool. And yeah, it was awkward to see them together all the time, and beside me. But it was something you could get used to after a while.
But now, like a moth has passed, and they seemed "not-together", I mean they weren't and I'm not trying to imply anything, but he's not the im-constantly-looking-at-my-phone , the ill-wait-for-her-at-the-shed type, he was the guy I met the first few weeks of classes.
And what really urged me to write this blog post was a comment of my friend's.
I won't translate this to give it the same "OOOMPH" factor. Anyway.
Ay di nako mag binuang-binuang aning crush2x oy kay basin madayunan ko. Unya human kay ingnan ra ka nga Di man gud kay binuang2x raman gud na iya, then human ma fall jud diay ka. Human ang iingon ra sa guy kay Option raman gud ko, pero in the end kay dili diay nya mao na. Hahahahaha.
And I laughed.
And I realized.
Maybe.
Just maybe.
I hope
we BOTH
find happiness
in the
diverging
paths we took.
And maybe,
we will find ourselves
once again.
converge.
CHAR BAKI HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA.
